Why Do I Cheat?

Episode 12: Why Do I Cheat? Infidelity, Trauma Recreation & the Search for Aliveness
In this bold and brutally honest episode of The Trauma Queen, Jessica Ella is joined by returning guest Steph J to unpack one of the most triggering and misunderstood trauma patterns: infidelity. If you’ve ever cheated, been cheated on, or wondered why people stray even when they feel guilty or still love their partners—this episode is a must.

Together, Jess and Steph explore how trauma, emotional wounds, and shadow aspects of our identity can unconsciously drive us to sabotage the very intimacy we crave. From unmet needs and hidden desires to repressed rage and a longing for vitality, cheating is often less about betrayal—and more about unhealed trauma seeking expression.

🖤 Inside This Episode:

• Why cheating can be a trauma response, rooted in abuse, neglect, or identity suppression

• The role of trauma recreation—repeating painful patterns to regain control or feel something

• The fascinating insight from the Ashley Madison documentary: many who cheat still love their partners, but are chasing a lost sense of passion, freedom, or aliveness

• How shadow work, radical honesty, and nervous system safety can help you integrate the parts of you that sabotage love

• A compassionate, therapy-informed lens on cheating—free from shame, full of insight

This isn’t about excuses—it’s about understanding the deeper psychological and energetic triggers that drive us toward chaos when we’re really craving connection. This episode invites you to meet yourself with honesty, curiosity, and compassion… and begin the journey toward a healed, whole, and integrated self.

💫 Ready to explore the shadows and heal what’s underneath? Start here: https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth