Why Do I Find The 'Nice Guys' Boring?

Episode 15: Why Do I Find the Nice Guys Boring? Trauma, Drama & the Addiction to Chaos
In this revealing episode of The Trauma Queen, Jessica Ella and returning guest Stephy J unpack a question so many women secretly ask: “Why do I find the nice guys boring?” The answer, unsurprisingly, is rooted in trauma.

If you've ever felt turned off by stability or uninterested in someone who treats you well, it might not be about chemistry—it might be about emotional wounds, abuse, and your nervous system’s trauma response. Jess and Steph explore how chaotic, toxic, or emotionally unavailable relationships condition your body to equate inconsistency with excitement—and calm with boredom.

💥 In this episode:

• How past trauma wires your nervous system to crave intensity

• Why “boring” often just means “safe”—and why that feels triggering to those with unhealed relationship wounds

• The role of identity: are you addicted to being the fixer, the chaser, or the one who earns love?

• Tips on abundance dating and nervous system regulation to break the cycle

• How to rewire your body to desire peace—and feel genuinely healed enough to receive real love

This episode is a brave invitation to stop chasing chaos and start recognising that your trauma isn’t craving a bad guy—it’s craving safety, wholeness, and love that doesn't hurt.

💫 Ready to fall for someone who actually treats you well? Start here: https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth