Why Do I Get On The Attack With Certain People?

Episode 22: Why Do I Go on the Attack with Certain People? Trauma Triggers, Power Plays & the Parts They Poke
In this fiery and eye-opening episode of The Trauma Queen, Jessica Ella explores a question many of us secretly ask: “Why do I feel instantly defensive—or even aggressive—around certain people?” Whether it’s your mother-in-law, a passive-aggressive friend, or a parent who still sees you as a child, this episode gets to the heart of what’s really going on: trauma.

When someone triggers you into attack mode, it’s rarely about what’s happening in the moment—it’s about emotional wounds, old power dynamics, and parts of your identity that still feel unsafe. Jess shares how your nervous system may be reacting to unhealed trauma stored from early experiences, projecting the past onto the present.

🔥 In this episode, you’ll uncover:

• How trauma teaches you to pre-empt pain by going on the offensive

• The link between familiar “difficult” people and unresolved childhood triggers

• Self-inquiry tools to decode your reactivity: “Who do they remind me of?” and “What part of me do they bring out?”

• How your reaction may be protecting a wounded or rejected younger self

• The genius of the “airhead response” to diffuse conflict without self-abandonment

• How to move from reactive to healed—without cutting everyone out of your life

Jess weaves real stories, humour, and therapy-informed strategies to help you reclaim your energy, set boundaries with grace, and approach triggering people with curiosity instead of combat.

This episode is for every brave woman who’s tired of feeling hijacked by her reactions—and ready to understand the trauma beneath the trigger.

💫 Ready to break the pattern and respond from your power? Start here: https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth